


I don’t want to live my life like this any more

by snjeguljica33



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: M/M, New Beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-07 02:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14661261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snjeguljica33/pseuds/snjeguljica33
Summary: Mike knew, even before he left....





	1. Chapter 1

It's been almost a year since Mike and Rachel left. Donna could only look at how Harvey fell apart. She knew best of how much it still hurts.  
He never wanted to call him, nor did he answer when he called. He did not let her mention it.

If he until now been determined and rigorous, it's even worse now.   
He stretched out his hand and opened the heart once, and now Mike took it with him.  
Harvey swore will not allow anyone to come close to him.

Donna was afraid of the sorrow surrounding Harvey. He away even from her. He dropped the wall around him and kept only the basic things that he could not touch him in any way.

 

*

Mike tried to call Harvey a lot of times, but he always got to the wall and eventually stopped. The new life is not nearly as he imagined and wanted to share it with the only friend he had. Only he did not have him any more.  
What hurt him most was that Rachel deserved to try harder and Mike had been trying for a while.  
He can not say he did not like Rachel, but quickly all went into the habit. Too fast, so he wondered if all this was ever was a love.

His true love has obviously left on the other side of the state. Distance and time helped him understand, but Harvey did not want to have anything with him. He knew exactly why. Harvey felt betrayed and disappointed, and Mike understood that.

*

Mike wanted tonight to tell Rachel what is going on, but she stayed at a late meeting. It does not matter, he decided, it would be time. Maybe Rachel screams, gets angry, or who knows what when tell her... but Mike no longer wants anything with her. That was cruel, but it's better than playing with someone's feelings. It would be a torture for both.

He pour the whiskey and sat in the armchair. Watched the city who lives his life at night. A town that he did not get to know, and did not even want it. Now he understands that he wanted to escape as far as possible, thinking it was naive that fell for Harvey will disappear with some miracle.

*

At the same time, as if felt him, Harvey stood by the office window and looked at the lights of the big city he loved. He loved him, mostly when Mike lived here.   
Now he did not see any sense in the work he had done superbly, for which he fought like a lion. Which was his purpose? Every new victory meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is so much gaps in it that it feels physical pain.   
It is clear to him that he will only go crazy like this. Mike is gone, and he has to move on. Perhaps a big change will finally start his life and at least a little relieve the pain which he felt day and night.

He put down a glass and a drink he did not even touch. Looked around the office, picked up only his father's record and went out the last time from the office, and then out of the building. There is nothing left for him here.

He will send instructions and resignation tomorrow morning. No, he was not afraid. It's never afraid, and this time he was sure was right. And the first time after Mike departs, breathe deeply ....


	2. Chapter 2

Mike did not sleep all night. And when Rachel came home, he pretend to be asleep. Tomorrow will talk to her. There's nothing left to fix. Had never been, he only needed a year to figure it out.

He was thinking of just leaving her a message, but he changes his mind. He got up and made coffee and he waited when she got up too.  
"Rachel, can we talk, will not last long?"   
She sits across hin where he has already set up a cup of coffee.  
"I think we've come to the end of the road" Mike says firmly. He did not want to hurt her, he was just direct. Now he knows what he wants.  
"You're right" Rachel says a little disappointed, but she has been aware all that for a while.  
Mike relieved. No tears, no scenes, no requests. See how little he knew about the woman he was married to. Feel guilty because he did not try enough. And he did not do it because he did not love her enough. Never like Harvey.

There is not much to talk about, so they both drink coffee and get ready for work. Rachel even kissed him on a cheek. Like giving him a blessing.

Mike went to work and announced that he was leaving. A short period of time necessary to complete tasks. During that time he decided to move to the hotel. For exactly two weeks, it will gather things and return to NY. They'll be back to Harvey. Maybe there will be nothing he hoped to do, but he would know he tried at least.

*

Harvey wakes up the next morning and the first thing he thinks... this is the rest of my life. Now he can do whatever he wants. In everything he has done so far, he has been perfect and the best. To whom did he actually prove? Everything now seems insignificant.  
Even this expensive apartment equipped with exclusive pieces does not mean anything to him. Where did he spend his life? Was it possible that he was so blind?

It does not matter, it's never too late, he thought with a smile. First decide to send all that is needed on Donna’s e-mail, in short, without some great words. Donna would understand, he could always rely on her.  
When he is finished, prepares a few necessary things and decides to visit brother and his family. He has not seen them for a long time. This was the right time. Why not?

As he spent time with his brother and nephew, all that he left behind seemed small and irrelevant. Marcus had something he did not. Until yesterday he never even thought of it. Strangely enough, he did not see so many things around him.  
He did not talk about business or his decision, and Marcus did not ask anything. The time they spent together both of them enjoyed it.

After all day, greet everyone and lie to have some work, so go away. For a while he sits in a car at a local hotel parking lot, then takes the room and decides that he will take further steps tomorrow. If something now has, has all the time in the world.

*

NY is the same as Mike remembers. Of course it is the same, which could change in a year? And yet he is not the same, he grew up or became wiser, or whatever it was. In the last days, he was thinking a lot about what he should do. Maybe the best direct approach. When he booked a room in NY, he refreshes and goes to the old firm. And there's all the same. Maybe some new faces. Mike is trying to be inconspicuous. When he comes to the last floor, he fears his heart will get out of his chest. Before he reaches Harvey's office, he has some unpleasant feeling, but when he sees Donna, he calms down. She laughs with her known smile. Mike finds a trace of sorrow, but maybe he just imagining.

When they say hello and talk a bit, Donna simply says "Harvey's gone." Only then Mike looks round at his old office and see that everything has changed. "What?" Says the first thing that comes to his mind. Donna shook her head as if she did not even know how to explain it. 

Suddenly Mike can not breathe. He scribbled his number on the paper and with an unmistakable greeting and kisses on the cheek, leaves the Donna who is watching his fast leaves.  
All he could imagine, but this never. Harvey left? What? Why? When he ran out, breath several times to compose himself.

*

Harvey lies in the hotel room without the intention of to get up soon. He has not yet set a final goal. For the past few days, he has been learning about new places or just driving aimlessly. This was who knows which hotel to sign in, but so they all looked the same and served only for sleeping.

It is certain that his decision is correct. Perhaps this was a cowardly act, but this is the first time that something intense and painful happened to him.  
If he can not have Mike, maybe one day he will find the second best. For now he does not think about it. He just looks closely at what's going on around him. Now he has opened a whole new world in front of him.

*

Mike goes to the hotel, at least to think what to do now. He was really naive. Even if he met Harvey does not mean that something has changed. Now he did not know where he was or why he left.

He stayed awake for a long time and maybe out of despair, perhaps from some sort of gentleness that had caught him, against all his beliefs, wrote the message "I Love You Harvey" and sent. Then he slams, as if he has finally done the right thing.

*

Harvey wakes up at some time of the night and sees the cellphone shining. He looks long in the letters on the screen and his heart returns to his place. Everything he now wants to be next to him and just send a short "Where are you?" waiting full of hope, he does not sleep anymore. Before morning Mike sends the name of the hotel and the number of rooms.  
Harvey does not want to waste a moment.

*

Mike does not know what's going on. The only thing he can do is wait.   
When, after hours of distress and uncertainty, heard the knocking on the door, Mike took a deep breath. Open the door and pull him in the hug.  
Now that he has in his hands, it's all good.

All they need are closeness, touch and kisses. There is no need for words, it's all been said long ago.

Mike is the first time in his life to stop a steady flow of thoughts. In fact, Harvey is credible. Their lips look like they are created for each other. Their bodies fit perfectly. Everything went into place. By the time they finally merge, Mike feels filled up like never before.


	3. Chapter 3

Harvey can not fall asleep. He fears if he closes his eyes, when he opens them again, everything will disappear.  
He hears a quiet breathing and calms it a little. Mike is really here. Now everything is all right. Every Mike move in his dream, brought a smile to Harvey lips. As if he wanted to get even closer, as if they were not nearly as physically as possible.

He is thinking about the life he has lived so far. Work, work, casual sex, work, a little bit of fun, work .... too many years it took him to figure out how it all empty. Luckily, Mike appeared. Mike who told him to love him and whom he loved like no one before. Mike who came back for good ... so with these thoughts he finally fall asleep.

*

Is not sure if he still sleeps when felt a rush of pleasure that it spreads throughout the body. He blink a couple of times and looked down where Mike was very devoted sucking his morning erection.

"Wow..." Harvey put hand in his hair. He wants to feel his lips on his own, but Mike has other intentions. Does not take long to hot jet splashes into Mike's mouth. He looked satisfied and it seems to Harvey that had never seen anything more beautiful.   
"Did you need something?" Mike says with a smile as he climbs to his lips.  
Harvey tries to say something but Mike silences him with a long kiss, so they goes on with the morning sex that seems to last forever.

*

Both have free time as much as they want. Mike can not believe it when Harvey tells him he left everything, but he understood.   
Both will use a few days of pure enjoyment.  
For now they spend most of the time in bed. Unless one of them takes delivery or take a shower together. To somebody on the side, all this might seem silly, but anyway they did not care about anyone's opinion.

After a couple of days they decided to visit the city. Harvey is surprised. He knew so little about the city in which he lived. Mike shows him all his favorite places. The bicycle ride Harvey had once ridiculed now had its advantages. Harvey enjoys every moment. Maybe because now all see with new eyes.

For now, they avoided conversations about the future. They're still in the hotel, in their small balloon. Harvey does not want to go back to his apartment. This is a really fresh and clean start.

*

After a week, they search for a new home.  
"Perhaps we could look for a house?" Mike spoke a little worrying, but Harvey agreed. Why not? 

They did not even look for long. Mike as soon as he sees the house knows that's it.  
It's not big, it's not about something that would be in Harvey's style, but there's "this something" and he hopes to Harvey see it as well.

As far as work is concerned, they do not have to rush. They do not want either. One step at a time.

Harvey is delighted and just now Mike sees that he really meant seriously. He wanted a whole new life and he wanted everything with Mike. Of course Mike wanted the same. They could not have a solid foundation from that.

They sit in the yard of the house, which will take many rearrange, but for now only enjoy a quiet evening. They brought pizza and beer and eat in silence.  
"Hey, this is nice" Mike says after a while "Even recently I could not imagine this."  
"It's nice ... until you're here ..." Harvey took his hand.  
"I know ..." Mike leaned over his shoulder. Everything will be fine while they are together.

Work on house lasts for a while and both are maximally involved. When it's all over, the house is a combination of two seemingly incompatible styles, but actually it all fits somehow.

*

It's been nearly three months and Harvey is getting restless.  
Mike knows the time has come "Listen, I've been thinking about something, maybe we could try by themselves ..."  
"By themselves?" Harvey asks as he reads the newspaper.  
"We could open our office?" Mike continues "we always be a good team."  
"Hmmm ..." Harvey thinks for a while "maybe ... there is always something new to learn."

They are going to prepare everything they need and go on for the next few days. Soon their small office turns into a busy world of various cases. This time they use all their knowledge and experience to choose cases that will not take them all spare time. Mike occasionally comes to dedicate himself to a few pro bono case.

This time they come back to their home together. They do not allow the job to take over their lives.  
Because ... someone asked Mike once what he thought was the greatest achievement in life, and he answers with a smile... "Be Happy?"   
Now, whenever he turned and looked into the face of a man he loved, he was happy. Who could want more ...


End file.
